'We can treat it like its the end of the world' (2012 Chris Brown)

I realise it's been ten months since my last blog update, so many things have happened and 2012 is drawing to a close so I thought it be a perfect time to evaluate my year and tell you about my experiences.

In 2012 I started competing for the IFBB pro league, I turned 30, I won my first professional show and qualified for Olympia 2013, I ended a long term relationship and I travelling to some new places including United States (New York, St Louis, Florida), Canada (Toronto), Portugal, Germany, Tenerife and Czech Republic. 

In March I competed at St Louis Pro Bikini and placed 4th, I was pleased with my result and very happy to have completed my pro debut, I got some good feedback from the judges and looked forward to my next contest.  On 1st June I competed on my 30th birthday in Toronto and placed 9th. I must admit I was not happy with the result but on reflection I feel grateful to even be on the pro stage when there are so many amateur competitors that do not get that opportunity.  After Toronto, I remember coming off stage and thinking to myself 'I'm never doing that again' but it's all about perspective and discovering what you want.  Did I really want to give up the sport?  I would be lost without it and I hadn't achieved all that i wanted to do so  I decided to work on some weaknesses and not give up on my dreams.  I work with Shannon Dey who told me I needed to gain a bit of weight in order to improve, which basically meant I would not be in a calorie deficit so I could develop muscle.   If I'm honest I do struggle with this mentally and physically  but I did my best and I think I made some improvements.  In October I competed at the very first pro bikini event in the UK, British Grand Prix, and placed first. This will always be a memorable experience for me, to have so much support in my home country was amazing.  I qualified for Olympia 2013 which is a dream come true.  Last year I wrote in my blog that I reached my goal of getting a Pro card and this year I am so happy to write that I reached my goal of qualifying for the Olympia.  The week after the British Grand Prix,  I went to Prague to compete at EVL Pro Bikini, I took part in the show with no expectations as I already had the Olympia invite. I placed 5th in a good line up.  Each time you get on stage, you learn something new. I am grateful for the experience. 

In my personal life, I ended a seven year relationship that did not make me happy, my partner was not really supportive and I allowed things to happen that I should not have. Competing can be pretty isolating if you do not have a decent set of people around you, it's definitely not a team sport and travelling alone is not always fun.  I think this year I have grown as a person and my experiences have made me stronger.  I would like to think I am older and wiser and will not make the same mistakes in life.  

Next year I look forward to completing my competitive dream of being the first UK IFBB Bikini Pro on the Olympia stage. I look forward to being able to continue to train and improve my physique and enjoying what training gives me.  Training is my way of life, maybe one day I will give up competing but I will never give up the gym.  There have been days when the gym has been my only friend.  Days when I felt like not getting out of bed but I go to the gym and I feel good again.  Training is not just about the physical body it's about strengthening the mind. It gives me discipline, it gives me strength and courage, allows me time to think things through, evaluate my life and see clearly. 

So 2012 was about 'Doing the things you are most scared of' and for 2013?

Escutar com o coração, confiar em si mesmo - listen with your heart, trust in yourself