2011 is coming to an end and I am reflecting on the year and my fitness journey which only began in 2009. After waiting eight weeks for my drug test results (I was randomly selected for doping control in Serbia) and some administration time, my IFBB Pro card finally arrived in the post this morning.
I thought I would feel excited and of course I am excited but with that excitement was a little bit of fear. No turning back now. I have booked my flights, I have the application for my first pro show in my hand. Looking in the mirror, I don't look the best I've ever looked, being just after Christmas. You find yourself asking the question 'Can I really do this?'
I remember being backstage in Athens waiting to perform at a Latin Festival, dancing for a Salsa group called Diablo at the same event as Marc Anthony and thinking 'What am I doing here??'. The dance group were twice European Team Salsa Champions, all proper dancers. I thought to myself 'I am not a trained dancer, why can't I stay at home and watch TV like everyone else, why do I put myself through this?' Anyway we did the show, I was scared to death, but we did it. Credit to the great dancers and great choreographer (Laith Sami). Now when getting on stage for a contest, I look back and I take some of that feeling and think 'Yes you know what? I can do this.'
Fear is the biggest thing that holds us back in life but what is the worst that can happen? There is no reality without perceived reality. By doing one thing you open the door to the next and you can always take something from it. Even if it is to understand what is for you and what is not for you. So many talented people do not realise their potential, I don't know whether it is due to lack of resources or lack of dedication but someone once told me 'you don't have to be the best dancer in the world, success is 10% talent and 90% dedication.' I said I don't want to do this dance (ballroom Latin) if I can't be the best and that is what she said to me. Looking back now I did give up that dance out fear, I started dancing at 18 and I saw these young kids dancing better than me and I was scared I could never be good. One of my biggest regrets in life to date. But on the plus side I found Lambada and I learnt to dance a beautiful dance and met so many people in different countries. All you need is the will and the belief.... but also the flexibility of mind to be able to roll with the waves.
2012 ~ Do the things you are most scared of.